A T T E N T I O N P A S T O R S W I V E S!

"No More Bags"

by Kathy Pedeaux

Wouldn't you agree that life is too short to live with bags over our heads? Pastor's wives and women in full-time ministry have for too long been deceived into thinking that they must perform roles that have been dictated by church politics, and stereotyping of the functions of the Pastor's wife. This is when we feel like putting a bag over our heads, pretend to be someone else or just to hide from people and responsibilities that were never meant to be ours. It is destructive for the church as well as the precious women that fall into this trap. It is destructive for the church because it directly affects the pastor through the unhappiness, fear, and frustration of the wife. Secondly it is destructive to the wife because it promotes fear, insecurtiy, anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions. One of the saddest and most damaging things in the Kingdom of God is an unhappy Pastors wife. Read next months article to find out more about "Freedom from Anxiety in Ministry."

Anyway, I have great news for you ladies! John 8:36 says, "So if the Son has set you free, you will be free indeed." God has created all of us in so many unique ways. How boring it would be if all Pastor's and their wives looked alike, acted alike, and did everthing alike? Let me tell you a little story. In the beginning of my husband and I's journey into full-time ministry, we were invited to a regional meeting of the officers of a certain denomination. It was a dinner engagement with a small agenda. All the wives were invited to attend. I was so excited because I was going to be able to meet other pastors wives and glean from their experience and have the opportunity to rub elbows with some higher-ups in the organization. I sat down so proud next to my husband and thought, "Let the party begin." I began to realize just after a short time that these women around the banquet table were miserable, did not want to be there, and had no interest in talking to me at all. Their faces seemed to tell a horrible story of years of being something that they were not. Since I wasn't a member of their church, they had nothing to loose by not being the affectionate, loving, outgoing, articulate, confident, women they were suppose to be. My heart began to become grieved for them and I began to pray and ask God to help me never to come to that place. I talked about this with my husband and I made a decision that night to always try to be myself. I didn't want to be in ministry if it was like that. There were so many other things that I could do to glorify God in the workplace, and in ministry. Today my life's goal is helping people realize their dreams in Him, and especially Pastors and their wives. I have never had so much fun, been so fulfilled and been so in love with my husband! You can have your cake and eat it too! Jesus has come to give us life and give it more abundantly! God has called each of us to be what He has called us to be, not what others expect. The Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost! Let's live in that!

Does this mean we don't do anything we don't feel like doing? As Paul would say, "God forbid!" As Christians, no matter what our title is, we choose to serve, we educate ourselves, we discipline ourselves, we strive to be better than we are, we allow God to stretch us and we give our lives away to others! It is who we are. It is the definition of love that we lay down our lives! But............................God intended for us to reach our potential, to be happy along the way, and to enjoy the freedom to do so through His precious blood that was shed.

7 Steps to Going Bagless!

1. Self-Educate - Find out more about your gifting and personality to frame some personal goals.

2. Make a list of your dreams.

3. Make a list of what makes you feel trapped or anxious as a Pastor's wife.

4. Seek God about 2 & 3

5. Communicate with Husband, trusted friend, or counselor

6. Make a decision to be happy

7. Make a decision to work toward goals and dreams

If you enjoyed this article and are interested in more articles by this author and other free resources please visit our website www.murphytoerner.com.

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*If you desire further information on this subject, we offer life-coaching, personality testing, career assessment testing, gifting testing, and mentoring programs for Pastor's wives and women in ministry. Call the office for a consultation at your earliest convenience.

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This article does not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of PrayWay. It is provided for informational purposes only. As always, weigh everything with the Word of God, which is the only inerrant source of information.