Despair is not new to this century; nor is depression, or the agony of aloneness. Kneeling alone in desperate battle with an overwhelming sense of futility is not something that only you face. It is a struggle many of us have shared over the years, even though we cannot be at your side at this moment. Does it help to know that, maybe even just a little bit?

We too have fought through the night with problems too large to be borne. We too have prayed into seeming emptiness, seeking a God we know is there but somehow cannot reach from the depths of our despair. We too have wondered why as co-heirs with Christ we cannot find the ear of our loving Father - for we too experienced this blackness after asking Christ into our lives...

We too have wept bitter tears of loneliness. We too have dismissed others' proferred aid as meaningless, because nobody could appreciate our special needs....

But we were wrong - blessedly, joyously WRONG! We were wrong because we judged our needs by worldly standards. We were wrong because we sought a mentor in those around us. We were wrong because we had missed the personhood of our God, for our God walked this way, too, before us!

When Jesus said He was the Way, the Truth and the Life, He meant this way, too - the despair, the utter aloneness. He shared them in Gethsemane, when His disciples slept. He shared them on the cross, when He hung in naked agony bearing the sins that cut Him off from His Father - our sins!

And He shared them to a depth we cannot fathom, for when He prayed alone in Gethsemane's garden, He knew Golgotha was the cup to come.

What joy, what bitter joy is ours - this knowing that our lonely, tear-drenched path was trod by Christ! What joy, what fearsome joy is ours - this knowing our despair will draw us closer to His side! And what infinite bliss is ours, to know we can leave this blackened robe beneath His cross and walk in His bright fellowship, to glory, when once the Spirit's cleansing work is done.

You see, through Christ we learn that our despair is the outward sign of the workings of the Holy Spirit, purging our souls of dross. Our black despair is the billowing smoke arising from the roaring flames of the Spirit within us... and even now, although we cannot see Him, we lie in safety in the crucible of His all-consuming love.

With that assurance, we joy in our despair!

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