Support and Encouragement for Adopted Children
Author Interview with Stacie Cahill, Who Am I?
by Lisa M. Hendey

With her new book Who Am I? (Xlibris, February 2005, paperback, 40 pages), adoptive mother and therapist Stacie Cahill offers a wonderful resource for adoptive families.

Through the eyes and voice of one little girl, this book looks at the questions of identity that frequently arise for children who have joined families through adoption. A mother of three, Cahill wrote Who Am I? as a means of celebrating the varied ways families come together to form a bond. Illustrator Shawn Voelker has contributed greatly to the project through the loveable artwork that accompanies the story.

When asked about the plot of her book, Cahill shared, “Who Am I?, addresses identity issues for the young adoptee. Many adoptees want to know why they were adopted and what that means. Each of the letters in adoption explain to the child why it is so special that they are adopted. The book emphasizes God's role in building family. The book normalizes adoption, and gives parents, teachers, or caregivers an opportunity to discuss adoption and to open the communication concerning adoption and the search for identity.”

Stacie Cahill shared the following with me about her family, writing and the adoption process.

Q: Please tell our readers a bit about yourself and your family.

A: I am a 33 year old chemical dependency and family therapist. I have a master's degree in social work. I am a mother of three. After a troubled childbirth with my son in 1995, my husband and I chose to build our family through adoption. After much prayer, God led us to two wonderful baby girls. We adopted two healthy infants through domestic agency adoption 1998 and again in 2004. My husband and I have been so blessed with all three of our children. My oldest two children have similar interests, and are enrolled in many of the same extracurricular activities. They are both taking tennis and karate currently. My youngest is a very energetic 15 month old who loves water. She is practically swimming already. She loves are dog and says his name constantly. All three of our children are close and understand that God has created our family in two different ways. He has blessed us with Jacob through biological birth, and with Chelsea and Brooklynn through adoption. I decided to write Who Am I? so that the kids would understand that one way of building family is not superior to the other. In other words, the children fully understand that being the biological child is not more important than being adopted into the family. The book celebrates two special ways in which families are formed.

Q: What is your faith background, and how has your faith journey impacted upon the person you are today?

A: I am a strong Christian, as is my husband. My oldest two children became Christians in November of 2004. My father is an ordained deacon, and was given the honor of baptizing my children. My children are enrolled in a Christian school, which as truly been a blessing for our family. My family and I allow the Lord to lead our lives. We are active in church, and our children often participate in plays, which they truly enjoy. Who Am I? would never have been written or published with out the Lord calling me to write the book.

Q: What was your motivation for writing this book?

A: My daughter started asking me why she had to be adopted and her brother was not adopted. She wanted to know if it was okay to be adopted. She basically was searching for answers .Through publishing this book, I was able to provide answers to her questions, which have facilitated Chelsea's search for identity.

Q: What goal or message do you hope to share in this book?

A: I want all adopted children to understand that they are special, and to have an avenue to ask caregivers questions about their adoption process. I want the children to celebrate God's love through adoption, and to recognize that there is more than one way in which God builds family.

Q: What are some common concerns of adopted children?

A: Identity issues - In order for the adopted child to grow and develop in a healthy manner, he/she must understand adoption. Today parents are more comfortable talking about adoption with young ones, which is great. Who Am I? addresses the child's common questions about identity.

Q: What are some of the resources you've found helpful in dealing with the adoption process?

A: I have received information from adoption.com forums/books etc. There are wonderful books available through adoptinshop.com, which helps one to move through the adoption process. Our agency had a wonderful social worker that was always available to answer questions that my husband and I had regarding the process.

Q: What words of wisdom would you offer to families looking into adoption?

A: Pray first and let God lead. It is good to seek counsel from a Christian adoption agency. Many adoptive parents have fears of adopting another person's child. They wonder if they will love the child as they would a child of their own. As a mother of both adopted and biological children, I can honestly say that there is absolutely no difference in the bond and love you share with any of your children. God just gives us our children, that he has always intended for us, in different ways. I am blessed indeed.

Q: What is the most important message an adoptive parent can give to his or her child?

A: Let the child know that he/she is not different because he/she is adopted. They are special, and just as important as biological children. Adoptive parents should stress that God builds families in different but equally special ways.

Q: Do you have any future projects in the works?

A: I just completed a book regarding the biological child's feelings in the family blessed by adoption. It is entitled MY PARENTS LOVE ME TOO! I was inspired to write this book after my biological son asked me if he was as special as his adopted sisters. My son illustrated the book from his very own perspective. He is so grateful to have a book in print that he has illustrated. I am currently having the sequel to Who Am I? illustrated. It should be available for sale by Thanksgiving 2005.

For more information on Who Am I? visit
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1413461581/catholicmomcom

Lisa M. Hendey is a mother of two sons, webmaster of numerous web sites, including http://www.catholicmom.com and http://www.christiancoloring.com, and an avid reader of Catholic literature. Visit her at http://www.lisahendey.com for more information.

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